How Do You Keep a College Student from Drinking?

Ban the table the alcohol sits on, apparently:

WILLIAMSBURG, Va. (WAVY)—The College of William & Mary is banning tables that can be used for beer pong. The college said they are making the change to support their ban on drinking games.

...

For years, William & Mary has banned drinking games on campus. A recent change to the student handbook now prohibits the tables, said college spokesperson Brian Whitson.

"These are tables that are specifically decorated or designed for the specific use of beer pong," said Whitson.

While I have never actually played "beer pong," I have seen it played, and my recollection is that it can be played on a variety of flat surfaces. Saith one W&M fraternity brother:

"These tables can be used for other things, and it just doesn't make any sense. Within a week we're going to have a ping pong table down here."

Who would have guessed THAT would happen?

Drinking on campus can be a real problem, particularly underage drinking. But it takes a special kind of person to believe that banning beer pong tables is the way to stop it, and such persons fill the administrative suites of our nation's colleges and universities. 

Be proud, Virginians! W&M is a public institution. "Your Tax Dollars at Work," indeed.